"I woke up to a phone call from my ex spouse's attorney. I was told that I had to appear
in court the following day because they were going to kick me out of my home. I found
Paul online and he was able to appear in court with me the following day. It was very
assuring to know that I did not have to leave my house and that my spouse was
responsible for sharing the expenses in paying for our house. Thanks Paul"
Paul Eads received his bachelor of arts degree, Summa Cum Laude, in
Psychology from UCLA and his juris doctrine from Southwestern Law School in 2005.
While attending UCLA, Paul did extensive research in the "divorce process" and
accompanying coping methods used by the vast majority of Americans. Paul chose
Psychology for his undergraduate degree so that he might better understand and assist
those experiencing the stressors associated with divorce. He received numerous
awards while attending UCLA, including membership in Psi Chi, the psychology honor
society and the National Golden Key Honor Society.
After his admittance to Southwestern Law School, Paul emphasized Family Law
in his studies and was an active member in the school's Family Law society. During his
second year of school, Paul was invited to intern with the Honorable Roy L. Paul, a
judge in the high volume Family Law courts in downtown Los Angeles. During his
internship, Paul was privileged to witness hundreds of Family Law proceedings,
including many celebrity divorces. As an assistant to the bench, he did extensive
research on cutting edge issues in Family Law and critiqued several custody
evaluations and trial briefs, providing a full report to the court. Paul received extensive
guidance from Judge Paul and was invited back for a second internship the following
Paul has volunteered his services for the Los Angeles S.T.A.R.S. program, a
program that provides legal services and guidance to limited income families that
cannot otherwise afford legal representation. Paul also volunteered at the Harriet Buhai
Center for Family Law for a year. While there, he assisted in writing the manual
"Assisting the Limited Income Families in Family Law Matters", an annual publication to
help new attorneys in the practice of Family Law.
Paul is a member of the State Bar Family Law section and the Los Angeles
County Bar Association.
While other children were watching "Scooby Do" and "The Flinstones", Paul was
watching "Divorce Court" and "People's Court." He knew from a very young age that he
was destined to be a lawyer. In 1995, Paul married and is the proud father of three
sons. He himself was served with divorce papers his first year in law school and this
event directed his path into the study of Family Law. Despite this set back, Paul
completed law school in the top 20% of his class and studied for and passed the
California State Bar exam. He did all of this as a single father sharing equal custody
with his former wife. Paul often took his youngest son, Bryan, to school with him when
childcare was unavailable. In the beginning, Paul dealt with many of the stressors of
the break up of a family. He learned anew how to relate with his sons, now living in two
separate households. Paul was unsure about his rights regarding his sons, but knew
that he wanted to protect that relationship at all costs. He recalls his search for an
attorney to assist him; each seemed to tell him something different, all very confusing.
He incurred extensive fees; even though most of his interactions with his attorney were
brief, he often felt hurried; further, it was hard to relate to an attorney who was a happily
married man with children! These experiences drove him to study Family Law that he
might help others through this process. There are plenty of lawyers who have been
observers to the process, but few have navigated the system themselves with success.
He is proud that he still has equal custody of his sons and their relationship has
I have shared my story below because I have heard from many people that it is helpful
and that some people have been able to identify with my experience.
I still recall seeing the process server on the other side of the screen door with
hands behind his back. It was at that point that I knew my wife was serious. I had no
idea what my rights were. I did, as many others do, flip through the phone book,
concentrating on lawyers with full page ads, half the ad being their picture. My
telephone interviews seemed impersonal; the more lawyers I called, the more differing
interpretations I received as to what my rights were.
I was left with my sons in our three bedroom townhouse. I remember my son
asking me when mom was going to come home. I didn't know what to say so I changed
the subject. They thought that because I stayed in the townhouse I must have been the
one who made their mom leave.
About two weeks later, I was served with an Order to Show Cause requesting that
I have my sons on alternate weekends only. Wow! I was stupefied. I had always spent
time with my boys, and I did not know if I could adapt to such a limited visitation
My wife and I attended our conciliation appointment as mandated by the state to
attempt to establish our joint parenting plan. Although I was optimistic that an
agreement could be reached that proved impossible, and we were required to go to court.
The day of court, I arrived early with my Bible in hand. I sat in the long corridor
waiting for my attorney to arrive. I remember feeling stressed out. Would I lose my
boys? Would I see them every other weekend? It was at that time that I closed my eyes
and surrendered all to the Lord. He knew what was best for my boys, even if that meant
they should stay with their mom.
Both attorneys went into chambers with the Commissioner while we waited in the
court room. The two attorneys came out and we were able to go to the Cafeteria and
work out a visitation plan and divide our assets.
The first several months were really tough with the boys. I found myself being the
Disneyland dad, I used to call my boys "Buddy". It was chaos to say the least. Single
parenthood was new to me, and I did not have any assistance; I was a one man show.
My sons at times would throw horrendous fits when my ex dropped them off or I picked
them up. Then she would volunteer to take them back with her. I persevered and
insisted on having my time with them. (This is an abridged version of what happened; I
would be glad to swap more stories with you when we meet.)
Now, eight years later, I still share custody with my ex-wife. I am truly blessed at
how my relationship with my sons continues to develop. My eldest wrote in his last
essay that he wanted to go to college and be a lawyer like his dad. My middle son and I
have a close relationship now, and I spend time helping with homework and school. My
youngest is an excellent student and is learning to play the clarinet. I think Bill Cosby
said it best: "My sons truly are my heroes."
I married my real sweetheart a few years ago, after taking time to get to know
each other well. Although I still struggle to co-parent with my ex regarding our children's
safety, welfare, and schooling, I am learning to deal with these situations in a less